How To Save Unsalvageable Furniture

Every once in a while I buy a piece of furniture without seeing it first. I like the picture, think I have a pretty good idea what shape it's in, rationalize not seeing it because it's so cheap, and then it gets to my house and I think about laying in the street until a slow moving car drives over my body, crushing all of my limbs like muddled fruit in an exotic cocktail. 

This little ditty was the right size, it was solid pine, and it looked like it lived outside for more years than I've been alive. It was also "made" in Mexico, probably by children, and needed a lot of repairing. 

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